September 2026

Two bachelors were talking over dinner. The conversation drifted from sports to politics, and then to cooking. “I got a cookbook but I couldn’t do anything with it,” said the first bachelor. “Too much fancy stuff in it, huh?” Asked his friend. “You said it,” the first replied, nodding, “Every one of those recipes began the same way: ‘Take a clean plate…’”

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. “Mama, look what I found,” the boy called out. “I think it’s Adam’s underwear.” 

An elderly woman came to our church a few Sunday’s ago. Chris was the usher that day and he greeted her with a friendly smile and preceded to bring her down the aisle. Chris asked, “Where would you like to sit?” “The front row, please,” she answered. Chris returned saying, “Oh, you really don’t want to sit there.” “Oh, why is that?,” the woman asked. “Well, our pastor is really long winded and kind of boring.” To which the woman inquired, “Do you know who I am?” “No,” Chris said. “Why, I’m the pastor’s mother!” she retorted. “Do you know who I am?” Chris asked. “No,” she said. “Good,” he answered. 

Kori asked her mother if she could go outside after Sunday School and play with the boys. “Boys are so rough,” returned her mother. Kori continued, “If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?”

Some more Church Bulletin Bloopers:

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

The low self-esteem support group will also meet at 7 pm. Please use the back door.